Seriously… What is wrong with you? Why are you so weird?? Why are you so rude?
Why do you send me emails asking if my posted items are “still available” only to go silent as soon as I say “yes”? Are you “just checkin??” Are you really bored? Do you just surf Craigslist? Because I assure you, there are way more interesting things to look at on the web than used crock pots.
Why do you ask me questions and then ignore the answers? If you’re asking if something is “in good condition” or “available to pick up next Thursday,” I assume you are happy to hear me say “yes.” Yet, as soon as I do, you’re all: “Yeah, ok. Whatevs… Don’t care….Sooooooo bored…” What happened to simple common courtesy? Is typing “Thanks for the information, I’ll get back to you” so difficult?
How bout using full sentences? Would you agree, for example, that it is more polite to say: “Hi. Is your widget still available?” than: “Widget?” Would you walk up to a sales associate in a store, get up in their face and yell “Widget?!?!” No. Of course you wouldn’t. That would just be rude. Yet, on Craigslist, it’s the norm.
Recently, I placed an ad for an iPad. Here it is in all its glory:
As you can see, I worked hard to avoid some of these issues. I told readers where I was located. I told them that the price was firm. I told them that if the ad was active, I had the item. Put another way, I tried to help the people of Craigslist help themselves not be obnoxious.
Let’s see how that went….
Within an hour, I received this:
As you can see, Mehdi worked just as hard to prove to you that I’m not making this stuff up.
Mehdi, If by “$200 firm” I meant “Please offer me half” then you would not be the most annoying person on the planet. And yet, here you are….
And how about a full sentence, Mehdi? Hell, I’d be excited to see a question mark to indicate you are actually asking whether your 50% offer is reasonable – which it is not – rather than telling me.
Next there was Ghafour, a man of few words and fewer punctuation marks.
My mental response to his email? “Ummmmmmmm No.”
But these guys were golden compared to my next friend…Ken. Oh Ken…. what are we gonna do with you?
It all started on Saturday morning when I rolled out of bed around 9:00 a.m. to find the following message:
All of which would have been fine, if not for the the time at which he sent the message:
Ken. Seriously. What the hell? 6:23 in the morning? On a Saturday? Go back to sleep. You’re drunk.
But I was nice, responding….
First, “are” means “area.”
Second, friends, go back to the original Craigslist ad and read it again. Go ahead. I’ll wait here.
See? Annoying, right?
After, again, telling him I lived in Ballston, he said “Great! Call me so we can arrange a time.”
3:00 KEN! THREE O:CLOCK!!!! Why is this so hard?????
Since it was about 3:00, I told him I was home and would be home for the next 90 minutes. Then I got this:
Followed exactly 2 minutes later by this:
No Ken! It is not OK with me. How did you go from being “on your way” to the chairman of the Party Planning Committee in two minutes?? HOW???
Of course then there was Carlos, god bless him. He really confused me….
I posted this:
And received this:
I read it and thought: “Wait…what?” Followed by… “Oh for fuck’s sake, Carlos… They’re free weights…..not FREE weights… Good God, man….”
And seriously… I LIVE IN BALLSTON!!!
Then there was Lilly who somehow managed to turn “two ten pound weights for $15” into “two weights for $10”??? I don’t even know.
Also, while she’s apparently observant enough to note where I live, she was unable to come up with a single way in which she could determine our relative locations…. because it’s so hard to figure these things out.
*cough* “INTERNET” *cough*
Honestly, I can’t even be mad. And perhaps I should be a little grateful. It can be hard to see all our stuff marching out the door in the hands of strangers. Heck, perhaps I even owe Mehdi, Ken, Carlos, Lilly and ALL the people like them a little debt of gratitude. If their rude, maddening, grating, insufferable tendencies distract us from the fact that we’re letting go of all our possessions, I guess that’s a good thing.